And i have had a crap ass week, and even today, today, the day ment for forgiving and making amends, where am i and where is PH?
irritated.
all men hide SOMETHING.
Yet as a woman, men want me to NOT HIDE A DAMN THING....
Forbid, I get drunk and treat u like my therapist slash female friend and admit to all the dirty raunchy exploits Ive put myself in, like the year i got STD-c, two TIMES what, Im suppost to "hide" that from you. Like isnt it just KIND OF funny.
I see the humor in it.
And maybe this is what IS the issue.
I admit too much, at the impropper time, like, being drunk on wine the other nite and admitting my burning tourch for "nuttierthenabadoftrailmix", which maybe it was not, since I talked alot of NAMES, it could have been any one of the TAZ's....from 10 years ago, even, tho, 2003 almost seems sooo long ago.
Time.
Hiding.
Men.
Where was i going with this?
Fuck if i know. It's my diary entry and Im typing it like your eyes are ever going to view it, which, Im sure it's not, since I aggree with insanegerbil, you are kinda dumb.
No dumber than i, like attracts like. Yeah?
"Let's just pretend everything and anything between you and me was never meant."--- johnnnynevada states.
The week of non-stop crap hitting the fan.
Lets start with LAST SUNDAY.
WorkedSaturdaynight before, woke up hungover, went to the monkey Sunday afternoon, called a few men, since PH was at work and I didnt want to drink alone.
Only for PH to get off work earlie and find me getting drunk with some dude at the monkey (it's a bar).
I dont remember much after that, xanax, wine, a few extc rolls, oxycotic or was it a roxy, with PH, mind you, all with PH.
Yet come monday or was it Tuesday, days merge, prolly monday evening, PH got more wine and the arguement of me talking with guys i meet at work, arised, and fuck if I recall what I said, I just remember the makeup awesome sex, and the kissing and vaguely throwing PH phone across the room.
Talking some talk of meeting a female friend of his who is going to visit and bring Crissy and they are going to smoke.
I dont want that shit in my life.
Sorry, Ive allready been with ONE METH ADDICT.
Yet how uncool am I that Im not into this friendship of PH's, hello, didnt I hear PH say he wanted to get in shape and get away from the drugs.
And having sex-athons isnt MY idea of getting into shape.
Tho it is NICE.
YUMMY.
On to Wednesday, or was it Thursday, days merge, I woke up extreemy hungover and Just stared taking ZOloft again, after being off it for 5 months, I had 24 hours of "brain shivers", body twitchingthen found a MRSA boil on my arm, ... like does the crap ever STOP!!!!
So I took Bactrim, just to have it wipe out my system and all of a sudden I founf myself with a stomache flu, that had me dry heaving and feverish, and feet wet, sweating, and hot then cold and hot and cold, and then the bile came up and the puking began.
That lasted 24 hours.
Saturday, i worked against my own better judgment, just to leave work at 1am, and I couldnt tell them I had MRSA, and today....
ohhh today, woke up with a blistered lip and simi swollen tongue. Herpes.
And today, started nice, PH and I did my dirty laundry, and went to the pool, shared an omlette, had yummy sex, ...took a nap, just to wake up to hear PH calling beliez, this isnt the FIRST withinEARSHOT conversation I had to endure, whoever is in belize, it could be family, all i know, is my name is never brought up.
THAT I DO KNOW.
I had to leave, so i did.
Now PH texting me saying "oh i was calling them to tell them about you and how great you are".
Im not great.
Im a da-sass-tor.
I wasnt about to wait it out again to torture myself by not hearing my name said.
Just like me, to blow up at the very "sweet" moment, I have been waiting for.
This tops the cake. Crap ass week.And i just ruined the day.